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- <text id=93TT1937>
- <title>
- June 21, 1993: Reviews:Cinema
- </title>
- <history>
- TIME--The Weekly Newsmagazine--1993
- Jun. 21, 1993 Sex for Sale
- </history>
- <article>
- <source>Time Magazine</source>
- <hdr>
- REVIEWS, Page 67
- CINEMA
- The Dinosaur And the Dog
- </hdr>
- <body>
- <p>By RICHARD CORLISS--With reporting by Jeffrey Ressner/Los Angeles
- </p>
- <qt>
- <l>TITLE: Last Action Hero</l>
- <l>DIRECTOR: John McTiernan</l>
- <l>WRITERS: Zak Penn, Adam Leff, Shane Black and David Arnott</l>
- </qt>
- <p> THE BOTTOM LINE: Arnold Schwarzenegger battles his fiercest
- foe yet: the rumor mill that says his pricey new movie will
- fail.
- </p>
- <p> In Jurassic Park, Hollywood apparently has a dinosaur-size hit.
- Now the town thinks it smells a dog. Last Action Hero, the Arnold
- Schwarze negger adventure opening this week, has spurred doomsday
- rumors because of its ballistic budget (estimates run up to
- $120 million), a reputedly disastrous sneak preview last month,
- and the subsequent three-day shooting of a new sequence.
- </p>
- <p> Columbia Pictures, anxious about its huge investment, quickly
- sent in the spin doctors. The studio did get "slightly panicked"
- at the preview, says co-writer David Arnott. "Clearly the movie
- was too long, and the jokes needed timing tweaks. But a lot
- of people liked it." The new sequence was just "Arnold never
- giving up on anything," says director John McTiernan. "He guilted
- us all into shooting it." Now he has to hope that, oh, 40 million
- Americans will be guiled or guilted into seeing it.
- </p>
- <p> Danny (the appealing Austin O'Brien) is a lonely New York City
- kid who lives for the movies. He is about to live in them, when
- a "magic ticket" propels him through the screen and into the
- latest action epic of his film hero, Jack Slater (Schwarzenegger).
- "We're perfect buddy-movie material," the boy tells his reluctant
- new partner. "I'll teach you to be voluble. You'll teach me
- to be brave." Having seen part of the picture, Danny knows that
- Jack is in peril from a bull's-eye assassin (Charles Dance).
- There's a lot that Jack, poor simple muscle-bound dear, doesn't
- know--including that he's a fictional character. When he chases
- the assassin out of movieland into the "real" world, he finds
- that other rules apply. Heroes get hurt. People could die.
- </p>
- <p> Since Buster Keaton's Sherlock, Jr. in 1924, Hollywood has often
- toyed with the looking-glass motif, though never on Hero's mammoth
- scale, where so many cars crash that the audience becomes rubberneckers.
- Schwarzenegger, a live-action cartoon in the flesh, and McTiernan,
- who made the brains explode on time in Die Hard, might seem
- just the team to send up the dizzy conventions of the action
- genre. At first they do so, smartly. A wounded cop mutters,
- "Two days to retirement," and promptly dies. And Arnold's version
- of Hamlet is even funnier than Mel Gibson's. "To be, or not
- to be," he says, lighting his trademark cigar stub. "Not to
- be." And Elsinore goes boom! But after a while, as the facetious
- film references (to everything from E.T. to The Seventh Seal
- pile up, Hero turns into the industry's all-time costliest inside
- joke. Watching it is as enervating as being on a real movie
- set. You see all of the sweat and none of the starlight.
- </p>
- <p> The picture fails on a common Hollywood fallacy: that because
- people lap up celebrity tattle and flock to movie-studio tours,
- they must be fascinated by the nuts and bolts of filmmaking.
- Last Action Hero (which is the ultimate studio tour as surely
- as Jurassic Park is the ultimate theme-park ride) starts out
- mostly nuts, and winds up mostly bolts. Or, rather, winds down.
- That's a problem with pastiche: it must be constantly jump-started
- with ingenuity, and even that ultimately pales. By the end,
- nothing matters.
- </p>
- <p> In this movie's final reel, Jack begs Danny, "Believe in me."
- But by then he has forfeited the right to ask. Moviegoers can
- pretend to care about screen heroes; it's called suspension
- of disbelief. But they can't pretend to pretend to care. So
- when Danny confidently tells Jack, "You can't die till the grosses
- go down," we must wonder if that pertains to Schwarze negger
- too. He needs Last Action Hero to be as big as Jurassic Park.
- And our guess is: Not to be.
- </p>
-
- </body>
- </article>
- </text>
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